How Loving Myself Made Me a Better Lover
My whole life, I never saw myself as a lover. Not just in a romantic way, but just in general. I cared for people; family friends, etc...but I never thought I would be a deep lover.
Looking back, I thought that way because I did not love myself.
I have always been a goal chaser. But if I meet my my goals, I would mentally beat myself up for it. Instead of being proud of myself for working hard to try and reach those goals. This began my cycle of self hatred, and it started at a very young age. I would hate myself for not meeting my goals, I would hate myself for not being thin enough, I would hate myself for not being a good enough musicians.
Because I hated myself, I couldn’t love others well. I could feel my own self hatred blocking me from putting love out to others.
Then one day, I woke up exhausted from the cycle, and I knew I couldn’t take it anymore. And little by little, step by step I made daily choices to learn love myself. I allowed myself to be ok with wrong notes, to have my cake and eat it too. The moment I finally fell in love with myself, I knew that I could finally love others deeply.
And I have never loved more deeply.
Happy Valentines Day